Separation Can Be Good for the Soul

Hi all!  I’m finally on my way back to the land of the living (and my kids are thrilled).  As I mentioned in my last post, work has just been crazy, and even though I was “seeing the light at the end of the tunnel” back in February, I’ve finally gotten to the point where I just NEED my life back.  I’m still behind, but after what happened with my boss, screw it.  They’ll just have to take what they get.

So here’s what happened.  I had only been back from vacation for 2 days (I took a week off and took the kids to North Carolina to see my mom) when I got an email from my boss asking me if it was true that I had only entered in one year of history from the old accounting system.  (The Powers-That-Be want me to enter in 10 years of history though I’ve been discouraged to do so by every single person on the implementation team).  I told him that it was true, that I am going to enter in the remaining years when I am caught up, and he got upset that he didn’t know this already. I went on to remind him that I DID let him know back when I made this decision.  He still insists that I never told him.  (My new catch phrase at work is turning into “Whatever.”)  More was said back and forth, but the point was that not only did I never get any kind of recognition for the thousands of hours I put into this project (or even a thank you), but I get a hard time for not being superhuman.  Well, that just PISSED ME OFF.

So, at this point, I’m done. I’m only going to do what I can do during work hours, and screw them.

I thought I would take out one of my comfort decks and do a Past-Present-Future reading about work.  I used my Illuminated Tarot, the Rider-Waite-Smith deck recolored by Carol Herzer, and drew the following cards:

Where have I been? ~ Queen of Wands
Where am I now? ~ Eight of Cups
What is my potential? ~ The Magician

This spread made total sense to me. I saw myself as a hard-working, successful, and respected business woman, able to take on heavy responsibility.  (Queen of Wands)

Eight of Cups – Upon finding out that I wasn’t seen that way by others, I am separating myself from this project emotionally; I am walking away from the extra effort I put forth since, let’s face it… nobody appreciated it, apparently.

The Magician – I’d like to say that this card is telling me that I can make whatever I want happen, but I’m sure there are many meanings this card can take. Magician can be a trickster, but since I didn’t use reversals in this spread, I’m not sure if that’s what this means. If it did, it could signify that I can trick co-workers into thinking that I’m still working hard but really I won’t any longer. Nah… I don’t think that’s what it means.

I think it means that the choices are mine to make. I can continue on in this job as is, I can ask either for what I feel is my due or for more responsibility, or I can look elsewhere. I’ve already been contacted from the company of our new software and she told me to send in my resume and she would forward it to the recruiters with her recommendation.  So I feel like I proved my worth to someone, just not the someone’s I was hoping to.  (Pathetic of me, I guess.)

Well, sorry for the droopy attitude, but this really set me off and truly upset me.  😦


I’m Still Here!!

It’s been very busy chunk of months around here, but I am still around.  If you look back several posts (Oct 1 2011), I mentioned a big work project that was coming up.  Well, it came up, all right!!  And didn’t let me go.  I’m only now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, feeling like I can take a breathe.

I’ve been working until about 3am almost every night, and 6 to 7 days a week since the end of October, which is why no one has seen or heard from me in all these months.  But, like I said, it’s all finally coming together; it should be just a couple more weeks and I should get my life back again!!  Yay! 🙂

Let’s see… what’s happened in the meantime?  (Besides work, I mean.)  I got addicted to soda to keep me awake, which did a number on my teeth.  (Being a tongue cancer survivor, which means very little saliva, my teeth are very susceptible to acids.)  Anyhoo, 3 darned cavities later, after 15 years of no cavities, and I’m now trying to acquire a taste for coffee.  If you get a flavored coffee, and mix in tons of milk with flavored creamers, and 3 packs of Splenda, it’s actually palatable. 🙂  Unfortunately, my plans for attending the Tarot School’s Readers Studio 2012 may not happen this year since one of those cavities morphed into the need for a crown, which is going to cost a pretty penny.  😦   Whaddayagonnado?

Wow, I guess I thought I had more to share, but I guess not, since I haven’t gotten out lately.  But soon, very soon, I would like to start posting with my cards again.  I actually haven’t purchased any new decks lately, though I did receive some pre-purchased decks (Third Edition of MRP’s Baroque Bohemian Cats’ Tarot).

Soon!  Very soon!  😀

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone!  For those that celebrate this holiday, I hope you had a blessed sabbat!  And for those that celebrate the children’s version, I hope you had a fun and safe trick-or-treating evening.  🙂

To make up for the fact that I’m not posting any draws today (or haven’t for the last 2 weeks :(), I’m going to share my favorite Halloween Spread.  Unfortunately, I can’t find an official source for this spread, but you can find it here.

I hope you enjoy it!  🙂

Tarot of Vampyres – Let the Energy Carry Me This Week

Well, a new week, a new deck. Personally, even if I did find the opportunity to draw cards everyday, using a deck for only one week is not enough time for me to feel like I know how a deck will read, unless I’ve used it a lot before. But, because it’s October, and I love the dark moods of these decks, I’ll use a new deck this week, and then use the Halloween Tarot the last week of October.

This week I’ll be using The Tarot of Vampyres, by Ian Daniels, published by Llewellyn Publications. Ian Daniels not only did the artwork for The Tarot of Vampyres, he wrote the 300 page book, Phantasmagoria, that accompanies the deck.

I decided to begin with a spread that will give me an idea of my week in general. It doesn’t mean I won’t post throughout the week, but I thought it would be a good place to start.

1) General Energy of the Week – Lord of Grails
2) Most Significant Challenge this Week – Ace of Knives
3) Blessing/Opportunity for this Week – The Chariot
4) Advice to Make this the Best Week it Can Be – Six of Scepters (corresponds to Wands in the RWS)

With the Lord of Grails (fiery aspect of water) as my energy of the week, noting that the suit is water, it looks like I may be a lot better at controlling my emotions this week. The Lord is still very energetic, but is managing to keep his horse from galloping away. From the companion book, “The severed snake-haired head he holds as a trophy symbolizes his power to steal the energies of his enemies and use it as his own. The decapitated head is also a metaphor for his power and control over his emotions and lower instincts, renouncing and countering any powers of seduction used against him.” Ok, that’s all a little “out there,” but you get the idea.  😉

My most significant challenge this week is represented by the Ace of Knives (Swords). With Aces usually representing the potential of an entire suit, my challenge may be that I’ll have difficulty coming up with new ideas for making my software implementation project easier on myself and my team, or may lack needed clarity when trying to assign project portions to different teams. From the companion book, “When the card appears in a reading, it can be a sign that we can use intellectual reasoning to bring clarity to a situation…. Sometimes it denotes that there is a need for clarity, and that we must clear our minds of interference…. This Ace urges us to use our deeply focused thoughts and the power of our mind to overcome misunderstanding, fears, or challenges. We should analyze the situation clearly and logically, without personal judgment, emotion, or fear, using both our unconscious intuition and our conscious mind. A firm choice or decision needs to be made.”

An opportunity presents itself this week in the form of The Chariot. This card represents a clear path forming in front of me, and my will can be the driving force to bring my goals to fruition. I think it’s interesting that this card is represented by Cancer, a water sign, with the Lord of Water on the other side of the Ace of Knives, an air card. Air and Water are neutral to each other, though we have two female energy cards tamping down the male energy of the sword. Maybe that means my “significant challenge” this week will be able to be dealt with without creating too much havoc. 🙂

The advice given to me to make this week the best it can be is the Six of Scepters (Wands). Traditionally, this card represents victory, and it is very complimentary to The Chariot. However, if I look at the image, we don’t see our traditional knight on a horse, walking through a crowd of spectators, celebrating his victory. This image seems to have a man reflecting on his victory with his only companion a panther (there’s also a panther in The Chariot!). As advice, I could look at this as to reach my goals this week, make sure I take a good look at all the aspects of my project to make sure I don’t miss anything important. From the companion book, “The Six of Scepters often appears when we have been working hard towards a goal and success is finally within reach. The recognition we have sought is now being granted. ….this card urges us to draw from this energy of unquestionable success and self-confidence to achieve our desires. Rather than grim determination, this card is about the power and satisfaction we feel when we know that we will succeed.” 

When looking at all the cards and their combined energy, it looks as if this week will be a challenging one, although there are a lot of energies lining themselves up for good success, if I remember to plan ahead and not just fly by the seat of my pants.

Dark Angels Tarot – Patience!

As I was shuffling my Dark Angels Tarot, I asked, “What lesson do I need to take away from my day today?”

I pulled the Ace of Swords, The Devil, and The Magician.

The Devil card seems to be the main theme. She’s facing us full on, though her face is partially covered, as if to say, “Bring it on!”    The Ace of Swords on the left, while facing toward the Devil, is covering her heart chakra as if in protection, even though she holds a sword in her hand.   And The Magician has his back to the Devil, doing his own thing, as if to say, “I’m busy, and you’re not important enough for me to worry about.”

All interesting images, but how to apply it toward my day?   Well, since I’ve been doing nothing but working lately (or at least it seems that way!), I would have to relate this to the project I’m currently working on.   The Devil could represent the temptation of starting to set up my new accounting system, even though I haven’t had my Kick Off Meeting yet.  This whole week I’m in training, which basically shows us all the different features of this system.  Every time we get done with a certain module, I want to go into the system and set up my own company’s information.

However, since there’s still so much I don’t know yet, and because our company may have specific settings or situations that I haven’t been exposed to in training, I should hold back (Ace of Swords) and wait until I’ve been properly trained (Magician). This sounds easy; all I have to do is just NOT do my own setup. BUT… I’m soooo itching to get started, and patience has never been one of my virtues. I’m trying, though. 😉

Images from the Dark Angels Tarot,
by Luca Russo, LWB by Lillie
Published by Lo Scarabeo

Dark Angels Tarot – Take It As It Comes

Well, it’s a new week so I’m going to start a new deck (although I think I’m really going to miss my little gothic friends from the Oracle of Shadows & Light!). This week I’ll be using Lo Scarabeo’s Dark Angels Tarot, by Luca Russo, LWB by Lillie.

Today as I was shuffling, I just asked, “What do I need to know about today?” (I drew the cards at the beginning of the day.)

I pulled the Eight of Swords, the King of Swords, and the Nine of Discs.  This is interesting; it’s almost as if the cards are showing the progression of my day, looking at it after the fact.

Today my company had a holiday (Columbus Day) but I had to go into the office since my online training for the new accounting software system started today. I definitely felt tied down to the office against my wishes (Eight of Swords), which was dictated by a set schedule that couldn’t be altered (King of Swords). But as the day went on, I really didn’t mind being involved in the class and rather ended up enjoying it (Nine of Discs). Of course, I think part of that was the fact that the only thing I had to worry about today was the class; I wasn’t getting bombarded by emails and phone calls since no one else was in the office. I’m sure the rest of the week won’t go so smoothly. Oh well… I’m still enjoying myself! 🙂

Oracle of Shadows & Light – Count My Blessings

I pulled these cards on Friday, though I didn’t get a chance to post them then. They seem to paint a distinctive picture though (as always!)

The Ghosts of the Pumpkin Patch is reminding me that I have so many blessings that I have been overlooking lately. Though my life may seem too busy or stressful lately, there is still so much to be thankful for!

The Winged Seer reminds me that if I’ve had questions about certain situations lately, I need only listen to my inner voice to know the truth. I’ve just been so worried about other things, my inner voice is muffled behind all the other canoodling my brain has been doing!

The Violet Duchess wasn’t clear to me at first, but she seems to be saying that I’ve been keeping my mouth closed lately about something that’s been bothering me because I don’t want to make waves. She’s telling me to be true to myself and speak out if there’s injustice in a situation that’s important.

All of these cards seem to be tied together by the card that was on the bottom of the deck, Pink Lotus Fairy: A Time for Spirit.

She’s telling me to quiet the mind and go within to find that peace from stress and anxiety that will help me remember the wonderful blessings that surround me, help me hear my inner voice that will give me important messages, and help me find my true nature and allow me to stand up for what I believe in.

 – Images from the Oracle of Shadows & Light,
by Lucy Cavendish,
art by Jasmine Becket-Griffith
Published by Blue Angel Publishing

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