Separation Can Be Good for the Soul

Hi all!  I’m finally on my way back to the land of the living (and my kids are thrilled).  As I mentioned in my last post, work has just been crazy, and even though I was “seeing the light at the end of the tunnel” back in February, I’ve finally gotten to the point where I just NEED my life back.  I’m still behind, but after what happened with my boss, screw it.  They’ll just have to take what they get.

So here’s what happened.  I had only been back from vacation for 2 days (I took a week off and took the kids to North Carolina to see my mom) when I got an email from my boss asking me if it was true that I had only entered in one year of history from the old accounting system.  (The Powers-That-Be want me to enter in 10 years of history though I’ve been discouraged to do so by every single person on the implementation team).  I told him that it was true, that I am going to enter in the remaining years when I am caught up, and he got upset that he didn’t know this already. I went on to remind him that I DID let him know back when I made this decision.  He still insists that I never told him.  (My new catch phrase at work is turning into “Whatever.”)  More was said back and forth, but the point was that not only did I never get any kind of recognition for the thousands of hours I put into this project (or even a thank you), but I get a hard time for not being superhuman.  Well, that just PISSED ME OFF.

So, at this point, I’m done. I’m only going to do what I can do during work hours, and screw them.

I thought I would take out one of my comfort decks and do a Past-Present-Future reading about work.  I used my Illuminated Tarot, the Rider-Waite-Smith deck recolored by Carol Herzer, and drew the following cards:

Where have I been? ~ Queen of Wands
Where am I now? ~ Eight of Cups
What is my potential? ~ The Magician

This spread made total sense to me. I saw myself as a hard-working, successful, and respected business woman, able to take on heavy responsibility.  (Queen of Wands)

Eight of Cups – Upon finding out that I wasn’t seen that way by others, I am separating myself from this project emotionally; I am walking away from the extra effort I put forth since, let’s face it… nobody appreciated it, apparently.

The Magician – I’d like to say that this card is telling me that I can make whatever I want happen, but I’m sure there are many meanings this card can take. Magician can be a trickster, but since I didn’t use reversals in this spread, I’m not sure if that’s what this means. If it did, it could signify that I can trick co-workers into thinking that I’m still working hard but really I won’t any longer. Nah… I don’t think that’s what it means.

I think it means that the choices are mine to make. I can continue on in this job as is, I can ask either for what I feel is my due or for more responsibility, or I can look elsewhere. I’ve already been contacted from the company of our new software and she told me to send in my resume and she would forward it to the recruiters with her recommendation.  So I feel like I proved my worth to someone, just not the someone’s I was hoping to.  (Pathetic of me, I guess.)

Well, sorry for the droopy attitude, but this really set me off and truly upset me.  😦

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