I’m Still Here!!
16 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Personal
It’s been very busy chunk of months around here, but I am still around. If you look back several posts (Oct 1 2011), I mentioned a big work project that was coming up. Well, it came up, all right!! And didn’t let me go. I’m only now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, feeling like I can take a breathe.
I’ve been working until about 3am almost every night, and 6 to 7 days a week since the end of October, which is why no one has seen or heard from me in all these months. But, like I said, it’s all finally coming together; it should be just a couple more weeks and I should get my life back again!! Yay! 
Let’s see… what’s happened in the meantime? (Besides work, I mean.) I got addicted to soda to keep me awake, which did a number on my teeth. (Being a tongue cancer survivor, which means very little saliva, my teeth are very susceptible to acids.) Anyhoo, 3 darned cavities later, after 15 years of no cavities, and I’m now trying to acquire a taste for coffee. If you get a flavored coffee, and mix in tons of milk with flavored creamers, and 3 packs of Splenda, it’s actually palatable. Unfortunately, my plans for attending the Tarot School’s Readers Studio 2012 may not happen this year since one of those cavities morphed into the need for a crown, which is going to cost a pretty penny. :( Whaddayagonnado?
Wow, I guess I thought I had more to share, but I guess not, since I haven’t gotten out lately. But soon, very soon, I would like to start posting with my cards again. I actually haven’t purchased any new decks lately, though I did receive some pre-purchased decks (Third Edition of MRP’s Baroque Bohemian Cats’ Tarot).
Soon! Very soon! :D
Happy Halloween!
31 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
Happy Halloween everyone! For those that celebrate this holiday, I hope you had a blessed sabbat! And for those that celebrate the children’s version, I hope you had a fun and safe trick-or-treating evening.
To make up for the fact that I’m not posting any draws today (or haven’t for the last 2 weeks 
), I’m going to share my favorite Halloween Spread. Unfortunately, I can’t find an official source for this spread, but you can find it here.
I hope you enjoy it!
Tarot of Vampyres – Let the Energy Carry Me This Week
17 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Daily Draws, Deck: Tarot of Vampyres, Tarot/Oracles
Well, a new week, a new deck. Personally, even if I did find the opportunity to draw cards everyday, using a deck for only one week is not enough time for me to feel like I know how a deck will read, unless I’ve used it a lot before. But, because it’s October, and I love the dark moods of these decks, I’ll use a new deck this week, and then use the Halloween Tarot the last week of October.
This week I’ll be using The Tarot of Vampyres, by Ian Daniels, published by Llewellyn Publications. Ian Daniels not only did the artwork for The Tarot of Vampyres, he wrote the 300 page book, Phantasmagoria, that accompanies the deck.
I decided to begin with a spread that will give me an idea of my week in general. It doesn’t mean I won’t post throughout the week, but I thought it would be a good place to start.
1) General Energy of the Week – Lord of Grails
2) Most Significant Challenge this Week – Ace of Knives
3) Blessing/Opportunity for this Week – The Chariot
4) Advice to Make this the Best Week it Can Be – Six of Scepters (corresponds to Wands in the RWS)
With the Lord of Grails (fiery aspect of water) as my energy of the week, noting that the suit is water, it looks like I may be a lot better at controlling my emotions this week. The Lord is still very energetic, but is managing to keep his horse from galloping away. From the companion book, “The severed snake-haired head he holds as a trophy symbolizes his power to steal the energies of his enemies and use it as his own. The decapitated head is also a metaphor for his power and control over his emotions and lower instincts, renouncing and countering any powers of seduction used against him.” Ok, that’s all a little “out there,” but you get the idea. 
My most significant challenge this week is represented by the Ace of Knives (Swords). With Aces usually representing the potential of an entire suit, my challenge may be that I’ll have difficulty coming up with new ideas for making my software implementation project easier on myself and my team, or may lack needed clarity when trying to assign project portions to different teams. From the companion book, “When the card appears in a reading, it can be a sign that we can use intellectual reasoning to bring clarity to a situation…. Sometimes it denotes that there is a need for clarity, and that we must clear our minds of interference…. This Ace urges us to use our deeply focused thoughts and the power of our mind to overcome misunderstanding, fears, or challenges. We should analyze the situation clearly and logically, without personal judgment, emotion, or fear, using both our unconscious intuition and our conscious mind. A firm choice or decision needs to be made.”
An opportunity presents itself this week in the form of The Chariot. This card represents a clear path forming in front of me, and my will can be the driving force to bring my goals to fruition. I think it’s interesting that this card is represented by Cancer, a water sign, with the Lord of Water on the other side of the Ace of Knives, an air card. Air and Water are neutral to each other, though we have two female energy cards tamping down the male energy of the sword. Maybe that means my “significant challenge” this week will be able to be dealt with without creating too much havoc.
The advice given to me to make this week the best it can be is the Six of Scepters (Wands). Traditionally, this card represents victory, and it is very complimentary to The Chariot. However, if I look at the image, we don’t see our traditional knight on a horse, walking through a crowd of spectators, celebrating his victory. This image seems to have a man reflecting on his victory with his only companion a panther (there’s also a panther in The Chariot!). As advice, I could look at this as to reach my goals this week, make sure I take a good look at all the aspects of my project to make sure I don’t miss anything important. From the companion book, “The Six of Scepters often appears when we have been working hard towards a goal and success is finally within reach. The recognition we have sought is now being granted. ….this card urges us to draw from this energy of unquestionable success and self-confidence to achieve our desires. Rather than grim determination, this card is about the power and satisfaction we feel when we know that we will succeed.”
When looking at all the cards and their combined energy, it looks as if this week will be a challenging one, although there are a lot of energies lining themselves up for good success, if I remember to plan ahead and not just fly by the seat of my pants.
Dark Angels Tarot – Patience!
11 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Daily Draws, Deck: Dark Angels Tarot, Tarot/Oracles
As I was shuffling my Dark Angels Tarot, I asked, “What lesson do I need to take away from my day today?”
I pulled the Ace of Swords, The Devil, and The Magician.
The Devil card seems to be the main theme. She’s facing us full on, though her face is partially covered, as if to say, “Bring it on!” The Ace of Swords on the left, while facing toward the Devil, is covering her heart chakra as if in protection, even though she holds a sword in her hand. And The Magician has his back to the Devil, doing his own thing, as if to say, “I’m busy, and you’re not important enough for me to worry about.”
All interesting images, but how to apply it toward my day? Well, since I’ve been doing nothing but working lately (or at least it seems that way!), I would have to relate this to the project I’m currently working on. The Devil could represent the temptation of starting to set up my new accounting system, even though I haven’t had my Kick Off Meeting yet. This whole week I’m in training, which basically shows us all the different features of this system. Every time we get done with a certain module, I want to go into the system and set up my own company’s information.
However, since there’s still so much I don’t know yet, and because our company may have specific settings or situations that I haven’t been exposed to in training, I should hold back (Ace of Swords) and wait until I’ve been properly trained (Magician). This sounds easy; all I have to do is just NOT do my own setup. BUT… I’m soooo itching to get started, and patience has never been one of my virtues. I’m trying, though.
- Images from the Dark Angels Tarot,
by Luca Russo, LWB by Lillie
Published by Lo Scarabeo
Dark Angels Tarot – Take It As It Comes
10 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Daily Draws, Deck: Dark Angels Tarot, Tarot/Oracles
Well, it’s a new week so I’m going to start a new deck (although I think I’m really going to miss my little gothic friends from the Oracle of Shadows & Light!). This week I’ll be using Lo Scarabeo’s Dark Angels Tarot, by Luca Russo, LWB by Lillie.
Today as I was shuffling, I just asked, “What do I need to know about today?” (I drew the cards at the beginning of the day.)
I pulled the Eight of Swords, the King of Swords, and the Nine of Discs. This is interesting; it’s almost as if the cards are showing the progression of my day, looking at it after the fact.
Today my company had a holiday (Columbus Day) but I had to go into the office since my online training for the new accounting software system started today. I definitely felt tied down to the office against my wishes (Eight of Swords), which was dictated by a set schedule that couldn’t be altered (King of Swords). But as the day went on, I really didn’t mind being involved in the class and rather ended up enjoying it (Nine of Discs). Of course, I think part of that was the fact that the only thing I had to worry about today was the class; I wasn’t getting bombarded by emails and phone calls since no one else was in the office. I’m sure the rest of the week won’t go so smoothly. Oh well… I’m still enjoying myself!
Oracle of Shadows & Light – Count My Blessings
08 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Daily Draws, Deck: Oracle of Shadows & Light, Tarot/Oracles
I pulled these cards on Friday, though I didn’t get a chance to post them then. They seem to paint a distinctive picture though (as always!)
The Ghosts of the Pumpkin Patch is reminding me that I have so many blessings that I have been overlooking lately. Though my life may seem too busy or stressful lately, there is still so much to be thankful for!
The Winged Seer reminds me that if I’ve had questions about certain situations lately, I need only listen to my inner voice to know the truth. I’ve just been so worried about other things, my inner voice is muffled behind all the other canoodling my brain has been doing!
The Violet Duchess wasn’t clear to me at first, but she seems to be saying that I’ve been keeping my mouth closed lately about something that’s been bothering me because I don’t want to make waves. She’s telling me to be true to myself and speak out if there’s injustice in a situation that’s important.
All of these cards seem to be tied together by the card that was on the bottom of the deck, Pink Lotus Fairy: A Time for Spirit.
She’s telling me to quiet the mind and go within to find that peace from stress and anxiety that will help me remember the wonderful blessings that surround me, help me hear my inner voice that will give me important messages, and help me find my true nature and allow me to stand up for what I believe in.
- Images from the Oracle of Shadows & Light,
by Lucy Cavendish,
art by Jasmine Becket-Griffith
Published by Blue Angel Publishing
Oracle of Shadows & Light – Letting Go
05 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Daily Draws, Deck: Oracle of Shadows & Light, Tarot/Oracles
Using my deck of the week, Oracle of Shadows & Light, I asked while shuffling, “What message do you have for me?”
I pulled Strangely Lonely as my first card, and looking at the key words I knew what this card was referring to. I have anxiety disorder and it’s always a struggle to maintain a level head when I’m in the throes of a panic attack. And I’ve been struggling through the panic mode-thing ever since last week. Strangely Lonely is telling me that I’m holding on too tight to the situation that created the panic attack and to let it go; the emotions that I feel while panicking often makes me feel very isolated, as if I’m deserted on my own island with no one who can help.
One phrase from the companion book made me chuckle. It’s as if they know me! “The truth is, your inner world is richer than most, and it’s an imaginative paradise – or hell – depending on your state of mind.” Yup! When I’m anxious, it’s as if I’m living in a very disturbing Tim Burton movie, unable to escape! What’s up with that??
When I was reading the book for the last two cards, I just kept getting the feeling that these two cards were describing my feelings of impending doom I had today. I don’t know if anything will come of it (I’ve never been prophetic), but I just kept feeling like there was something out there… hovering… something coming…
Something I pulled from the companion book for Lady with a Bosch Egg resonated with me, even though it’s kind of pulled out of context, “…know when to keep silent, know what to keep to yourself, and know that some secrets come to light at the right time.” I wonder if that has anything to do with my work situation? And knowing when to stay quiet with things I know…
Or Lady with a Bosch Egg could be reminding me that I have a class with The Tarot School tomorrow night, and I’m sure hoping I can make the time to attend!! From the companion book, “Learn all that you can. Explore esoteric symbology, the history of magic and spirituality.”
And there’s The Storm Angel again! I get the feeling that she’s just representing my unsettled feelings I’ve been having today. And she’s probably reminding me to try to remain centered whenever I feel a little panic coming on.
Now, I didn’t get a chance to post my daily from Monday, but I liked that one.
These are the cards I pulled on Monday:
The Snow Angel looks a little put out with me. Apparently she’s been trying to tell me that everything will be all right, but I’m not paying attention, still clinging to my fears. From the companion book, “It is your own fear and attachment to hesitating that keeps you on ‘pause’. It is time to see what has already been shown to you, and to take action immediately, without hesitation. The Snow Angel has shown you so very clearly that you are protected and cared for: now it is time for you to do exactly that, for yourself.”
And Dress of Alchemy also showed up today at the bottom of my deck. (I always pull the card from the bottom to see what the underlying energies of the question/situation are, or in this case, a Guidance card.) She tells me that it’s within my power to create what I want and need for myself, I just need to believe. She also has her hands on her hips as if to say, “Come on already! What are you waiting for??”
From the companion book, “Please take time to clear from your own sacred energy field: jealousy; envy; fear and guilt. Once you are clear, welcome in bright, strong, powerful, healthy energy. After this has taken place, expect symbols and signs to pour in. Keep your energy strong and bright and follow the signs. When your energy is strong and bright, when you come from a place of love, courage and wisdom, you will attract the ‘right’ signs and will not be misled.” And there’s the message about signs, like in the first card.
These cards definitely speak loudly! Is it coincidence that cards with common message threads pop up together? Well, I don’t usually believe in coincidence…
- Images from the Oracle of Shadows & Light,
by Lucy Cavendish,
art by Jasmine Becket-Griffith
Published by Blue Angel Publishing
Oracle of Shadows & Light – What Will They Show Me?
03 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Daily Draws, Deck: Oracle of Shadows & Light
This week I plan on using my Oracle of Shadows & Light,
Created by Lucy Cavendish, art by Jasmine Becket-Griffith
Published by Blue Angel Publishing
This is such a unique deck, like Precious Moments gone Goth. The different beings that are featured in this deck are ghosts, mermaids, ancients, fairies, witches, angels, entities, and historic beings. Very eclectic, if I do say so. Put these two things together, and you’ve got a trip down the rabbit hole, I bet! I’m looking forward to it.
I drew cards last night for my weekend, and already these little messengers are right on. I asked as I was shuffling, “What lesson can I learn from this weekend?” (Little background: I was suffering from panic attacks this weekend… not fun.)
I drew the Storm Angel and The Dried Flower Fairy; and these two seem to be from opposite ends of the spectrum.
The Storm Angel: Collision of beliefs, styles, attitudes, energy
This card is so very striking! (Purple is one of my favorite colors, so right there I like it.) Of course, looking at this card, our Storm Angel seems to be in a bit of a bad mood! She kind of has a scowl on her face, and lightning is crackling all around her. Yep. This is how I felt this weekend, in the midst of a storm and not very happy about it. But although her surrounding atmosphere is turbulent, she seems to be calm in the midst of it, albeit not necessarily happy. This card reminds me to try to stay centered when things around me are in chaos; stay true to myself.
And from the companion booklet, “…I bring change, and when change comes for some it is simple, easy and flowing, for others, dramatic, erratic, wild and full of static! Like I said, I appear when two forms of energy collide: high and low! I then appear to burn away the old and create a clear, fresh vibration, where all that is stale, and fearful, and unpleasant has been cleared away! The wonderful thing about this challenging collision is that while you’ll be nudged out of your comfort zone, you’ll also realise just how much has changed, and how far you have come! The results will be worth the pressure – trust me!” Figures…. just another version of The Tower.
Her advice is that when there is arguing and chaos around me, stay firm in my integrity and tell the truth. A nice reminder, and it fits in my work situation as well.
The Dried Flower Fairy: Sweet Memories
This card seems to mirror the Six of Cups I drew in the Celtic Cross spread I did a few days ago, under my Guidance position #9. As advice for my situation that was revealed in The Storm Angel, the Dried Flower Fairy tells me that “when we experience a difficult and challenging time, [she] flies to our side, and shows us a moment that we had forgotten, and magically the present moment transforms.” Well, thank goodness! Apparently she sensed my distress and has come to my aid.
From the companion booklet, “…it’s time to sift through the precious moments in memory, and by honouring these, and feeling them again, change the present for the better. The magic of your sweetest memories will be worked into the present moment, and your current struggle will be momentarily relieved, and that transcendent feeling of being one with all that is will return, giving you the strength to go on, and do what must be done.”
Wow! Maybe these cards DO have a life of their own! They sure seemed to nail my situation. I’ll enjoy seeing what they have to say to me throughout the week.
Happy October!
02 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
October is one of my favorite months. Autumn is here, and the spirit of Halloween is in the air… and Halloween is my favorite holiday. Always being fascinated with the other side of reality, this time of year naturally attracts me.
In the past I’ve spent the whole month of October doing daily draws with US Games Halloween Tarot, but there are so many other great gothic decks out there! One of my favorites is Magic Realist’s Bohemian Gothic Tarot; it’s dark and mysterious and yet campy. There’s also the Deviant Moon Tarot, Tarot of Vampyres, Vertigo Tarot, Gothic Tarot of Vampires, Dark Grimoire Tarot, Dark Angels Tarot and the adorably dark Oracle of Shadows and Light. So many wonderful choices but only four weeks of October!
Now, it’s kind of a tradition for me to use the Halloween Tarot for at least one week, usually the last week of October; it’s just too fun not to use at all! I’ve personally used the Deviant Moon and Bohemian Gothic extensively so I’d like to try a couple that I haven’t used a lot. Last year I acquired Tarot of Vampyres but didn’t use it a lot, so I’ll have to add that to my list, as well as the Dark Angels Tarot.
But I think I’ll start with the Oracle of Shadows and Light. I don’t usually use oracles (though I have many), so this should be fun.
Tough Week!
01 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Personal, Readings, Tarot/Oracles
WELL! I have had a week like you wouldn’t believe. I did a full Celtic Cross to get a bird’s eye view of the week and the situation surrounding it. Very telling, I think…
About a year ago I was given a project to find our company a new accounting software package. I had been keeping my superiors (CFO & CEO) informed through emails and conversations. I finally narrowed it down to two packages and this last month I had moved into the stage of getting price quotes from the companies. I guess, thinking about it right now, I should have had a more formal meeting to give them an update of the different products and what they can do before moving into the price phase. But I went ahead and got prices and had the meeting when I had all of the information. Unfortunately, that was at the beginning of the week, and Friday was a quarter-end, meaning one of the companies, who is publicly traded, was trying to meet their own quotas and was rushing us for an answer.
To make a long story short, we were pressured to sign by Friday, but things happened behind the scenes that made the whole situation a powder keg. We did end up signing, but I feel that trouble may follow. Now, I have no signing authority; my job was just to collect the information, relay my findings, and give my recommendation. And that’s what I did. The rushing to deadline is partly my fault because I got numbers a little late and didn’t have a meeting mid-way through the process. However, we didn’t have to sign. On the other hand, I think that it ultimately ended up to our advantage. Because it was quarter end, we ended up with a price lower than we otherwise would have gotten, with other concessions that will benefit us for years.
The situation that created the “powder keg” is not over, and even though I’m not in the direct line of fire, I’m exposed. Ok… I know I’m speaking in code, but the story is long. I’ll post it at the end of the spread for those who are interested.
1) Situation: Ten of Swords Rx
2) Crosses Situation: Eight of Swords Rx
I read these two cards together, and they certainly do paint a picture. This whole situation has me at the edge of my stress levels and I feel completely trapped within the situation. I even thought of going back on my anti-anxiety medication because of the panic attacks that had ensued after Friday.
3) Unknown Factor: The Tower Rx – I think there is probably more to the “powder keg” event, but because The Tower is reversed, it will probably remain hidden from me. Fine with me!
4) Quality to Let Go: Empress – My tendency to nurture and protect others is not going to help me in the current situation. It’s time to be more forceful and defend myself, if needed.
5) Potential Development: Eight of Pentacles – Well, I know this card! Now that we have a new system, I’ll be working like a dog to get it implemented within time and budget constraints.
6) Approaching Influence: The Devil Rx - I feel that this card represents the CEO, and me being trapped in his underhanded ways (there’s a backstory here). Because it’s reversed I will probably never know how he’s going to throw me under the bus, but I’m guessing the probability is high that he will.
That bottom right quadrant of the first 6 cards are enough to give me a headache, but I really think they give a solid picture to how awful my week has been. I know it’s not over, but I do hope that the effect to me and my job are minimal.
7) Me As I See Myself: Nine of Pentacles – I feel as I have accomplished something of magnitude; I was given a full project and I was being tested by my CFO, and I feel I passed, though not without some stumbles. But a co-worker, with whom I have a tenuous relationship, even complimented me and said I should be proud of myself for what I accomplished. Wow! Never saw that coming!
8) How Others See Me: Ten of Wands – After I turned over this card, I had to laugh. Guess other people don’t see what I do! But I see their point; I look overburdened by all that I took on. I’m sure my occasional comments, like “You can’t buy Valium over the counter, can you?” contributed to the way they see me.
9) Guidance: Six of Cups – I have to remember, as I start to feel overwhelmed, to reconnect with the things that make me happy from the inside out: Tarot, reading, walks in nature.
10) Most Likely Result: Nine of Swords – Well, great. Guess this situation is the gift that keeps on giving. Sleepless nights are not over, I guess. Maybe I should think about that anti-anxiety medicine….
If I look at a snapshot of this reading, I see:
Four reversals (all related to events around me and how they’ve been affecting me)
3 Major Arcana (Hmmm… Felt like more!)
1 Wands
1 Cups
3 Swords (8, 9, and 10)
2 Pentacles
No suits were missing, but there was definite emphasis on the Majors and Swords, with 2 of each being reversed.
If I add up all the minors (10+8+3+8+9+10+6+9) I get 63, which reduces to 9 (6+3), the end of a cycle. Hopefully that means that this whole situation is being wrapped up so that my new cycle of implementing the software can begin.
If I include the Majors into the numerology (10+8+16+3+8+15+9+10+6+9) I get 94, which reduces to 13, which is the Death card. This whole situation has exposed me to some politics within the company that I’ve never been directly involved in before, and that has affected how I see my place within the organization. Maybe this has started a transition for me and will lead to more responsibility…
Ok… the “powder keg” – I don’t even know how to explain this. The person that the CFO and CEO report to is the owner of the company. And he is… tough. He’s eccentric and it’s always hard to predict how he’ll react to things. This whole process was not supposed to be a big deal; we needed a new accounting software system, the last one acquired being 12 years ago, and it would have been as simple as finding one and signing on the dotted line. I mean, don’t get me wrong, all the other stress would have been there. But one of the meetings had legal counsel in attendance (why, I’m not sure), and that person, when approached by the owner asking about the reason for the meeting, told him about our search for an accounting system (he probably should just have said that we were going over accounting matters). Well, that threw the owner into a fit of anger. (And here’s where his unpredictability comes in.) Even though he never gets involved in the day-to-day running of the company, he was obviously upset by the knowledge that we’re going to be entering into a new financial obligation. And that’s not the whole “powder keg” I was talking about! The CEO went ahead and signed without the go-ahead by the owner.
And here’s the backstory of the CEO. Now he was telling me point-by-point of how he was going to defend his position to the owner, and he has solid points. The owner is out of town right now, so this hasn’t come to a head yet. Hopefully when it does, he’ll see why the purchase was a good idea. But the CEO has a constant habit of trying to make himself look good by making others look bad. He’s done it to everyone surrounding him, including me more than once. Others have seen it and are aware of it, and it doesn’t actually make him (CEO) look good, but I really think it’s something that he doesn’t even realize he’s doing. Anyway, as CEO was leaving the office last night, he said to me, “Congratulations, you have your new accounting system, and I’ll be losing my job.” ??? Excuse me? So I KNOW that when it comes to defending his reason for signing on the dotted line, my name is going to come up in the conversation for one of the people to blame. (Devil Rx) There’s no real way to avoid it; I can just hope that my CFO, who I work more directly for, will have my back if he’s in that particular conversation. <sigh> What can you do? Right? It’s just now I will be completely exposed when it comes to implementing this system. I’m going to HAVE to make sure it goes smoothly without any cost overruns. And I’ve done this before; you can never predict what you’re going to run into when you’re moving to something new.
I did another Celtic Cross spread for the implementation itself, but I’ll post that later.
Congratulations if you finished this whole post!! It was a LONG one!
